Sweets are my life, and yours too
by Fadey
Summary: The president of Japan declares sugary items banned because of it causing the teenagers in Japan to be too hyper. Chaos happens.


Summary: The president of Japan declares sugary items banned because of it causing the teenagers in Japan to be too hyper. Chaos happens.

This is a crossover between Prince of Tennis and Death Note. Rated T for language (Mello…).

_A/N: MM has really been nagging me to do a one-shot… So here it is! Anyway, I hope you __will __enjoy this__ story__!__ Urgh… __I don't think it's good_

_Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. And no offence to the Japanese president, this is merely a humor fic._

* * *

_**Sweets Are My Life, And Yours Too.**_

"NO!" A red headed teen shouted in horror, an uneaten bubblegum in his hands as he stared at the television in front of him.

"This can't possibly be true!" He shrieked like a PMSing girl, stomping around the room, putting the bubblegum into his mouth as he did so.

"I will not allow it!" He growled while chewing furiously, stomping his foot on the ground as his eyes glinted maliciously.

"Never, you wait and see…"

He popped a red bubble.

* * *

"_From a poll, we've found out that 99.9999999% of teens are acting too hyper because of the consumption of sugary items. As a result, we've decided to ban all items with sugar in it. We sincerely hope that this will stop Japanese teens from being hyper." An old man with a white mustache said proudly, lights flashing around him._

"!"

"What's wrong _now_?" Yagami Light huffed in annoyance as he stared at the dark-haired detective who had _yet_ again fallen off his chair.

"NO, NO, NO AND NO! He can't do that!" Ryuzaki, also known as L, shrieked as he pulled at his hair in despair. This was his repayment for coming all the way to Japan to catch Kira?

"What's wrong, Ryuzaki?" Watari, the ever worried old man, asked the distraught black-haired detective who was currently trying to make himself bald.

"THEY BANNED SUGAR ITEMS! DON'T THEY KNOW THAT I CAN'T WORK WITHOUT MY CAKES?" L shouted, shaking the wide-eyed Watari.

"Ryuzaki, calm down, Watari needs to _breathe_!" Light pried the fingers away from the choking Watari's neck. Who knew that the detective who was always cooped up in a room with only a computer acting as a source of light and only sugary items as food could have such a death grip?

"But my sugar is what keeps me going!" L suddenly gasped as he turned to Light, releasing Watari in the instance, who flopped down onto the ground and gasped for breath.

"I know why the president banned sweets, Light-Kun put it up to him, didn't you, Light-Kun?" L accused, a feral look on his pale face.

Light blinked in surprise, before standing up and _snarled_.

"Ryuzaki, I've had enough of your nonsense! Why the _heck_ would I put up the idea of banning sweets to the president? Even if I did, he wouldn't even listen to me, would he?" Light crossed his eyes as he sat back again, turning his back childishly on L.

L merely spun the chair around, putting them face to face.

"Because you know that sweets are my _life_! If I don't have it, I rather die!" L shouted as he shook Light's collar, the octave of his voice going higher and higher until it ended in a shriek.

Mastuda whimpered from under a table, which he had dived under during the first shriek.

"Make it stop…" He sniffled, clinging desperately to one of the legs of the table.

The other clever officers, who had heard of the news before hand, were currently working peacefully on the computers, earmuffs covering their ears.

Yagami-san turned then, nearly choking on his breath as he watched the world famous detective, _L_, tried to murder his son right there and then.

"Ryuzaki-San, my son's turning blue!" He barked, racing out of his seat to save his son.

Oh his precious, precious little boy…

"Are you okay, Light?" Yamagi asked his son, ignoring the dark-haired teen he had just shoved into the table behind him.

Matsuda gave a squawk as he was tackled by a flying _thing_, causing him to scamper backwards in record speed.

Of course, he did not look back, and accidentally scampered onto the unconscious Watari.

"Kkh!" Watari emitted a choked scream before his head lolled, his wise eyes blanks and his mouth wide open.

…

"I think Matsuda just killed Watari…" Light mumbled, unfazed.

Yagami-san nodded, eyebrows raised.

What about L? Well, L was shaking a fist at the television, which still had the president talking on the screen.

"I'll hunt you down, and you better watch out!" He shouted as he swung his fist… and accidentally hit a red button.

"Oops…" He mumbled as all the computer suddenly lit up, a red light blinking continuously.

_Bloop! Data being deleted, data being deleted… All data has been deleted._

"Oh well, it was just useless data anyway." L shrugged as he called the ambulance. Poor Watari… While, that old man was going to die sooner or later.

And that was the _real_ story of how Watari died.

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE DISCONTINUING PONTA?" A certain golden-eyed teen shouted in anguish, a clenched fist punched the table angrily.

The shopkeeper's forehead was dripping with sweat. It wasn't _his_ fault that Japan was banned from eating sugar! He was just a poor, innocent, shopkeeper trying to earn enough money to get by!

"I'm really sorry sir but even if I ordered ponta, nobody would send it to me! Didn't you hear? The president banned items filled with sugar."

"I'll kill him."

The shopkeeper blinked as the kid seemed to disappear, the door shutting with a bang.

… _Suddenly, I pity the poor president._

* * *

"%$%$%%#%%$#$-!" Mello stopped cursing for a second to get a breath of air.

"Dude… What got your puny ass?" Matt muttered, attacking the keys of his PSP with a grin on his face. Just three more steps, two more and…

_Smash!_

"That was my favorite game!" Matt shouted angrily, turning to the blonde. _How dare that __girl__ break his beloved PSP?_

"Oh shut your trap, didn't you heard the news? The #$ing president just totally banned sugar? That means no chocolate, no cakes and no _sweets__ at all__!"_

Matt just blinked, bored. He did not really like sweet stuff anyway.

"Well, I thought that you should go on a diet anyway." Matt shrugged as he dug into his bag for his Nintendo.

A feminine shriek of anger came from the leather-wearing boy.

"How dare you? I came all the way here to Japan to help (*cough* try to beat Near) with the Kira case and then what? They just totally ban me from sugar? Well, I'm not going to give in to the president's order! I'll make him pay for even _thinking_ about this!" Mello stomped off, pulling a chocolate bar out of his pocket and nibbling it _slowly_.

Who knew when he would be able to eat chocolate again?

Matt raised an eyebrow.

"You should totally go for some anger management class, dude."

"I'LL COME FOR YOU AFTER I'M DONE WITH _HIM_!"

* * *

"And that concludes my speech, thanks to all of you for listen-." The President of Japan blinked as suddenly, four teens charged into the room he was in.

"Hey, you're not allowed in her-!" _THUD! _A tennis ball whammed the poor security guard on the head, rendering him unconscious.

"How did you get in here?" The president asked as he backed away, face paled.

"-Snort- I don't know, those two over there used some tennis balls or something, mask guy (L, he was not dumb enough to go on national TV when the second Kira could be watching) and me just used our awesome skills." Mello sneered.

"… It seems like four teens have managed to come into the conference room, and they're currently _–bloop- _threatening the _–bloop-_ president. _–bloop- _OH GODDAMNIT! _–BLOOP- _STOP THROWING THAT _–BLOOP- _TENNIS BALL AT ME, I'M ONLY A _–BLOOP- _CAMERA CREWMAN WORKING FOR A_ –BLOOP-_ LIVING, I'VE A FAMILY TO FEED TOO YOU _ –BLOOP!-"_

"Due to technical difficulties, Kantawa News Channel is sorry but you'll only be able to hear what is going on."

"PUT THAT RACKET DOWN!" Everyone heard a feminine voice screamed, followed by a _"CRASH!_ Whoops… that was accidental."

"PRESIDENT, STAND BACK!"

A polite cough was heard. "It seems like four teens, two wielding a racket and two… OH MY GOD, IS THAT A GUN?"

"FUCK YOU, HOW DARE YOU BAN SWEETS? YOU THINK YOU'RE SUCH A BIG SHOT HUH? _–BANG__- _I'M GOING TO &^*%^$ KILL YOU!" A certain blonde-haired guy shouted.

"-Cough- Parents, please refrain children from listening. –_Bleep_-"

"HELP, THEY'RE CRAZY!" A hysterical voice screamed.

"CRAZY? I'LL _SHOW_ YOU CRAZY!" More 'Thud' and 'Bang' were heard.

_Fizz! Fizz!_

"Good news, we have just gotten back our visual contact! Turning back to our president… Ouch, that looks painful. Anyway, it seems like this banning sugar campaign is having a negative result. This is Kasuke Tudo reporting, stay tune to find out more!"

"AHHH, SAVE ME, PLEASE!"

* * *

_**A Day Later**__** – Marui **__**and Kirihara (After practice at Marui's house**__**)**_

"Due to negative response, the president has decided not to ban sugary items. We now bring you to the-"

_Click!_

"Wow, Marui-Senpai, did you _really_ stuff a tennis ball down his throat?" A certain black-haired kouhai squealed in awe.

Marui smirked, sticking his nose up in the air.

"Of course, I'm a _Tensai _after all. Nobody will try to keep me away from my sweets and get away with it!" He proclaimed proudly, popping his beloved gum.

"That was the only Tensai-worthy thing you have ever done, Marui-Senpai." Kirihara muttered, causing Marui to squawk.

"WHAT? What about my awesome tennis skills, my incredible intelligence, huh? Oi, GAKI!"

* * *

_**Mello and Matt (Apartment)**_

"What the heck…"

"Huh, you have nothing to say right? What, are you dumbstruck by my awesomeness?" Mello smirked as he flopped down lazily on the couch, popping a piece of chocolate in his mouth.

Matt snorted, pressing the keys of his new PSP.

"I wouldn't say it was awesome almost blowing the brains out of the president of Japan. They might have gotten you arrested. Though, taking that tennis ball the red-haired kid had stuffed into that old man's throat and replacing it with an unwrapped bar of chocolate was… cool." Matt admitted.

Mello grinned. "Why of course! Even Near wouldn't be able top that. Though L was quite good, pulling the hair out of his already balding head…" Mello scowled.

…

"By the way, I signed you up for some anger management class."

"You did WHAT?"

"I said, I signed you up for some anger managem-." _CRASH!_

"What was that for? Now I'll have to get a new PSP again!"

* * *

_**L **_

"I can't believe you did that! You knew that the second Kira could be anywhere, what if he or she was watching the news?" Light glared.

"If Light-Kun didn't notice, that was what the mask was for. Really, even though you're the top student in Japan, I really doubt your intelligence." L stated emotionlessly.

"ASSHOLE, I SWEAR I'LL… umple grumple PAH!" Light scowled as his spitted out the sugar cube L had _oh so nicely_ shoved into his mouth.

"Tut tut, watch your language, Light-Kun. Even though Yagami-San said that you're a respectable young man. I sometime wonder…"

_WHAM!_

And that resulted in another brawl, causing the older men to sigh at their childishness.

* * *

_**Ryoma**__** (After Practice in the locker room)**_

"Echizen…" A sigh was heard from the usually stoic buchou of Segaiku who was currently putting his head in his hands.

"Hai, buchou?" Ryoma drawled as he took another sip from the sugary goodness in his hands called Ponta. Really, what was the president thinking, trying to retain him from drinking his Grape Ponta? That was totally courting death.

"Did you really have to whack him so many times with your racket?"

"Of course I had to do that, he tried to ban me from Ponta! Don't worry buchou, I didn't hit too hard. He will survive." Ryoma gave a nonchalant shrug.

"Saa… I don't think it's about that, Ryo-Kun." Fuji chirped, a dazzling smile on his face, causing the two boys to jump in surprise.

"Then about what?" Ryoma blinked innocently.

…

"Forget it, both of you. Change and get going already. I'm going to get some aspirin." Tezuka muttered, massaging his temple.

"What's with him?" The confused Ryoma asked as he buttoned up his shirt.

"Don't worry about it. He's just stressed." Fuji chuckled.

_**The End**_

* * *

Well did you like it? I tried my best, if there are any mistakes, I apologize in advance. Please do tell me if there _are_ any. Review to tell me what you think of it, I'll really appreciate it.

Fadey~

_Posted: 4 Feb'11 8:20PM_


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